Since 16 when I left home and started University, I’ve moved houses so many times, made many mistakes, lived overseas a couple of times and felt disconnected and adrift through most of it.
Always searching for answers to understand myself, others and relationships, books about psychology and spirituality have always been my main source of wisdom and occasionally I’ve found a few wise souls along the way with keys that unlocked a door here or there.
For me spirituality is easiest found in the kitchen and the garden, appreciating the diversity, beauty and bounty it can bestow as well as its dangers.
I was fortunate to spend my childhood in Stirling in the Adelaide Hills, South Australia, though I started school in Yorkshire UK for a year where they begin at a younger age. Our garden was abundant with various trees, rhododendrons, camellias, azaleas, agapanthus, roses, lawns, secret paths, ponds and a small forest (it seemed) to adventure in. My younger sister sometimes joined in my games but my main memories are more solitary, or watching my father as he tended to some corner of the garden. He was always working - in the garden, or in the the hospitals or later at the farm.
My mother first discovered her breast cancer when I was 10 and she was 36. Upon reflection I can now understand how they didn’t have much capacity to deal with a girl going through puberty and its emotional fallout. I was lost. My mothers eventual surgery was a success but the cancer came back 10 years later in her bones and she couldn’t win. They never discussed it with me and I really didn’t understand anything about it. That was the parenting model I came from. So at 23 I became a motherless daughter, but really it felt like it had happened much earlier.
It has taken me a long time to find peace within myself. Maybe only really this year, age 45. But I am grateful that I have. And now I can finally put my roots down, feel grounded and home at last. Now I can enjoy the gifts that I have been given - my crazy but supportive creative husband and our two exhausting yet delightful and amazing children. That is, when I have my mindfulness about me.
This blog is about my continuing lifelong journey to educate myself to be a better person, kinder to myself and others, acknowledge my farming and gardening heritage and try to improve upon my skills day by day. Growing healthier minds and bodies not only for my family but potentially the local community if I can grow enough fruit and veg and see how far I can extend the knowledge.
I hope that some of what I learn along the way may be useful to you too.
xx Missy Miss